TOP 5 BACK TO SCHOOL HORROR

Written by J. Weagle

It’s that chaotic time of year when the summer is coming to an end, and all the students are heading back to school, so let’s dust off those textbooks, sharpen those pencils and indulge in some awesome horror movies that fit that feeling of early September so well.  It’s my list of five films that every horror fan should watch to prepare themselves for the mundane and dreadful hallways, early mornings, awkward social groups, and the annoying fucking teachers.

5. Carrie

A socially awkward girl known as Carrie gets duped into going to prom with a jock only to discover (the hard way) that it was all a little revenge scheme by the popular girls.  This  De Palma classic is more than just an awesome Stephen King adaptation, it’s a great message to those so called ‘cooler kids’ to not fuck with the ones that may seem a bit different, and if you do, prepare to pay the price.  Carrie remains a classic and despite the countless attempts at remakes over the years, the original remains the best.  It has the horror, it has the heartbreak and emotions and it has the reminder that if you ever invite a girl named Carrie to prom, you best treat her well.

4. Jennifer’s Body

Love it or hate it, Jennifer’s Body tells the cautionary tale of the popular hot girl who eats men.  No, not like that you pervert, like literally devours them.  Every high school has that one girl who goes through men like they mean nothing and here Megan Fox is that girl.  It’s got poppy teenage dialog thanks to the wit of Diablo Cody (Juno), and acts as a good warning to those high school boys and girls to never fall for that girl who uses the less popular, because she will make your high school experience suck, but let’s face it if she looks like Megan Fox it was worth it.

3.  The House on Sorority Row

This one takes us out of the confines of high school and into the freedom of college life.  A prank gone to far by Theta Pi leaves a best friend dead, and a couple months later a killer lurks on campus.  Lesson learned, sorority’s suck don’t join any.  It’s a slasher with a neat set up, and remains pretty fun to watch mainly because it’s entertaining to see bad things happen to those that for the most part deserve it.

2.  Ginger Snaps

As if going through puberty isn’t hard enough, toss in being bitten by a werewolf during a nightly prank and you got yourself a whole barrel of awkwardness.  Enter the Fitzgerald sisters, who have an obsession with death, and a hatred for those preppy popular kids.  While Ginger is a few years older than her sister and her body is changing, she’s growing hair all over and she has a new appetite for men, her younger sibling Bridgette on the other hand thinks that her sister is beginning to go insane and has trouble facing the fact that she’s changing into something else.  In this case we are talking about werewolves, but the movie acts as a perfect metaphor for the struggles of becoming a woman (or man) and facing the sad fact of life, which is that we all have to grow up eventually.

1.  Scream

Sydney is a high school girl with a somewhat troubled past that becomes the obsession of a local killer named Ghostface.  Add to that she has relationship problems with her bad boy boyfriend Billy, and the fact that her classmates are getting butchered off one by one.  As the movie teaches us – everyone is suspect, and just because you’re in school doesn’t mean you’re safe.  Scream would go on to be the first of many 1990’s films to focus on a group of high school or college kids trying to figure out who the killer is, but to this day remains the best.

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